We all want to be a good mom, right? Of course we do! But sometimes it can be easy to feel like we’re failing or falling short of being that really good mom that we have this vision of being.
But the truth is that sometimes these feelings of failure often come from the desire to be recognized and outwardly appreciated by our families. And when we don’t receive that recognition, it can be easy to get down on ourselves.
So before we even begin, it’s important to get into the right mindset. We need to be doing this whole thing for the right person..and no it’s not your husband or even your kids. You need to be doing this for God first and foremost. And when we switch our mindset to that, we can find our fulfillment in Him and not in man, who will inevitably let you down at some point or another.
With that thought in mind, let’s have a look at how you can be a good mom…in GOD’S eyes.
Continuously share Jesus with them everyday
There are a lot of commandments and instructions in the Bible. But it’s pretty clear that the most important message from the Bible is that we need God in our lives. Jesus even says that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul, and all your mind (Matthew 22:37).
So the most important thing that we can do for our children is to share God with them everyday. We can do this by talking about God, reading the Bible with them, praying with them, etc. Basically by making God a BIG part of your everyday lives.
Teach them with wisdom and kindness
If we look to the Proverbs 31 woman as an example, we see that in Proverbs 31:26 she opens her mouth with wisdom. But not only with wisdom…but also kindness.
Over the years we will have so much to teach our children. Even more so if you decide to homeschool them. But, even if you don’t homeschool your children, you will always be teaching them. And they will always be learning from your example. And it’s important that we teach them from a place of kindness and patience, without making them feel inferior or dumb for asking certain questions or not getting things right away.
So teach them the wisdom that God blesses you with. But teach them out of kindness and genuine love.
Demonstrate patience and love towards them
It can be easy to lose your cool as a mom. Especially if your child is having a particularly defiant day (or year lol). But no matter how our children treat us, we need to always be demonstrating the love of God towards them. God is patient (2 Peter 3:9) and God is love (1 John 4:8). And we should also show that patience and love towards our children, just as God shows it to us.
Our relationships with our children should model the relationship that God has with us. We are His children and we disobey and we throw tantrums and we act like babies. But in everything you do as a parent think about how God would respond TO YOU if you were to do the same thing (and believe me, we do act like kids in God’s eyes lol).
Don’t rouse your children to wrath
The Bible says in Colossians 3:21 that we should not provoke our children to anger, lest they be discouraged. And, like I’ve talked about earlier, it can be easy to lose your cool when they are being unkind and defiant towards you.
But by demonstrating love, patience, kindness, and a soft answer, we can turn away their wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Don’t stir up their anger even more by feeding it with yours, rather demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit towards them, even when they are undeserving of receiving them.
Be there for them, and listen to what they have to say
Sometimes it can be easy to fall into the idea that our children’s problems aren’t that big of a deal. Especially when they’re really little. They make such a big deal out of seemingly small things. But, to them, they are big. And being there for them and listening to their concerns, from the moment they are able to speak, sets the stage for a level of trust that they will have in you. It develops a relationship with them that helps them to feel comfortable coming to you for anything, even when it gets to be those big problems further down the road.
So even when you’re too busy, and even when it seems like such a small thing to you, take the time to stop and listen to what is on their little hearts. And reinforce that you are there for them, no matter how small or how big of a problem they are facing — just as God is always there for them too.
Train them up in the ways of the Lord
How we train our children when they are small steers them in the direction they will go when they are grown. The Bible says that we should “train up a child in the ways of the Lord, and when they are old they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
So in everything we do we should be considering how we can teach them and train them in the ways of God. Use the Bible as your parenting manual. Pull out scripture when you need to discipline them. Share what God’s will is for their lives. Expose them to God in everything you do everyday. And train them up to know God’s will and to love the Lord with all their hearts.
Guard their hearts and minds from wickedness
There will come a day when our children have to choose for themselves what enters into their minds. But when they are small it is our responsibility to be the temporary filter for them. We have the choice to allow things to enter into their tender little minds or not. Cuss words, violence on TV and in video games, an over-sexualized culture. All of these things play a big role in shaping their minds.
And when they are young it is our job to stand guard over their minds and their hearts. So that they can be exposed to the RIGHT things to shape them. Will they ever be exposed to those things? Probably. But as moms, we can do the very best we can to make sure that they are exposed to whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of a good report (Philippians 4:8) and not the wickedness of this world.
Fill their lives with joy and happiness
Hard times will come in the lives of our children. It is inevitable. And we can’t protect them from everything. Death, disease, cruelty, and more will at some point break into the precious lives of our children. And when that happens we need to be there for them and re-assure them that God is there for them too.
But, in the meantime we can do the very best we can to fill their lives with an abundance of joy and happiness in between those hard moments. We can ensure that we are making beautiful memories with them everyday. Memories that will imprint on them and shape them to be happy and joyful people with a heart for God.
Spend quality time with them, get to know them
In between the 15 million snacks, potty breaks, and never ending chores and errands, it can be easy to forget that our kids need more than food and shelter. Sure, these things keep them alive and kicking. But, a lot of times what they really need…is you.
Kids crave spending time with their families. They need to know that you are there for them no matter what. And they need to know that you don’t just love them, but that you LIKE them too. Even when playing blocks for the hundredth time during the day is getting old, remember that it means more to them than they can ever express in words.
The time you spend playing with them and getting to know them will be those precious memories that not only they will remember, but that you will cherish too; long after they have grown up and started families of their own.
Be a good Christian example to them
We tell our kids to be good, to obey God, to follow what the Bible says, to love Jesus. But do we demonstrate these things in our own lives? Do we spend time in God’s Word every day? Do we pray with (and for) them every day? Do we do all the things we encourage and teach them to do as good Christians in our own lives?
Because this very thing makes the biggest impact on their relationships with God. We can’t share something with them that we don’t have for ourselves. And so it all starts here, with your own relationship with God. If that isn’t very strong right now, it’s NEVER too late to change that. But it takes a conscious effort and self-discipline to deny our flesh and to learn and grow as a disciple of Christ.
Cover your children’s lives in prayer
Perhaps we are praying with our children every day. We are demonstrating what prayer looks like in various situations and teaching them how to pray for themselves. But are you also praying FOR your child every day? For their salvation, for their protection, for their future spouses?
These kinds of prayers have a big impact in the lives of your children. Lifting up your children in prayer every day is a special and precious gift that you can give them. Because ultimately it’s God who pursues us (John 6:44). And so we need to be bringing our supplications and petitions for our children to God on a regular basis.
Being a good mom doesn’t mean being a perfect mom
We are human. We aren’t perfect. We are in a fallen state just as our children are. But thankfully being a good mom in God’s eyes doesn’t mean being a perfect mom. No one is perfect except for Jesus.
But ultimately being a good mom means being a good steward of the children that God has blessed you with. And we do that by sharing the love of God with them and leading them in the ways of the Lord, so when they are old they will not depart.