Being a good wife isn’t about being perfect. Rather, from a Christian standpoint, it’s about striving to conduct yourself as a wife in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
And the Bible has a lot of great instructions for husbands and wives alike. But it’s up to us to look for it, and then apply it to our own lives. So let’s explore some Bible verses for wives and how the Bible defines what a good wife looks like.
A good wife is rare and a precious gift from God
Throughout the Bible God stresses that a good wife is a gift to her husband, but also that she can be a rarity in the world. So instead of trying to be another diamond, strive to be a rare ruby who stands out as a woman who loves and fears the Lord.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
A good wife shows Godly love to her husband
Biblical love is not the same as worldly love. Worldly love is determined by feelings and circumstances. It is easily fired up or burned out depending on your emotions. But rather true love, Godly love, is endlessly patient and kind. And a good wife demonstrates this kind of love to her husband, even when he doesn’t deserve it.
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,”
1 Peter 4:8 (MEV)
“Above all things, have unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13 (MEV)
“Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails. But if there are prophecies, they shall fail; if there are tongues, they shall cease; and if there is knowledge, it shall vanish… So now abide faith, hope, and love, these three. But the greatest of these is love.”
A good wife is submissive and obedient
I know this is where I will probably lose some of you. Because the world right now does not like the idea of wives being submissive to their husbands. We live in an age where women actually despise when men open doors for them (I will never get that). So being a submissive wife might be off-putting to you. But, it’s what God tells us to do. The reason being that our marriages are caricatures of the relationship between Christ and the Church (the Bride). So we are to submit to our husband as the Church is to submit to Christ.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
1 Peter 3:1-6
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
“To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”
A good wife is reliable and faithful
The Bible paints a picture of a good wife being someone that her husband can safely rely on and place his trust in. Because she always has her husband’s best interests in mind and isn’t out to bring him harm.
1 Timothy 3:11
“Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.”
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
A good wife maintains the marriage bed
The Bible has several things to say about the marriage bed that we, as Christian wives, need to perk up and listen to.
The first is that the sex within a marriage serves multiple purposes and one of those purposes is to minimize a husband and wife’s temptations outside of the marriage. Sex is a regular maintenance that a marriage needs to be healthy both physically and spiritually speaking.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.“
The second is that the marriage bed should remain honorable, undefiled, and pure. Which means that just because you’re married, doesn’t mean anything goes.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
So it’s important that a wife should regularly examine the marriage bed to ensure that both her and her husband’s needs are being met and that neither of them are bringing anything into the bedroom that is vile and corrupt in the sight of God.
A good wife is an advocate and teammate for her husband
The Bible says that woman was created to be a help meet to man. And this isn’t meant to be a derogatory thing. But rather it means “helper”. So a good wife strives to lift her husband up whether it be in his work or cheering him up when he’s feeling down. She strives to work with him to build their lives rather than against him. Because she knows that they are not separate people anymore, they are now one.
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
1 Corinthians 11:8-12
“For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.”
A good wife Fights for her marriage
God tells us that what He has joined, man shall not separate. And while there are Biblical grounds for divorce (cheating), the Bible makes it clear that marriage is no temporary thing. It isn’t something that we should give up on at the first sign of trouble. But rather it’s a precious gift that we should fight our hardest to preserve and maintain.
“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
A good wife is a blessing to her husband
As you have read through the verses above, you can see that overall, a wife is meant to be a blessing to her husband and a gift to enrich his life. Husbands are a gift to you as well. But speaking from the standpoint of trying to better yourself as a wife, keep this thought in mind. And here are some verses that re-enforce how much of a blessing you are to your husband.
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
Proverbs 18:22 (MEV)
“Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord.”
Learn how to be a good wife in God’s eyes, not the world’s
The world’s idea of a good wife and the truth of God’s Word are two different things. Read the scriptures and search out relevant Bible verses for wives, so you can know the truth of what it means to be a good wife in God’s eyes. The answers are there, you have only to look.